January 18, 2005

The Goddess of Twine

Snigdha sent this over today- she just got back from a week of volunteer work in the villages of Cuddalore. Snigdha for those who don't know her is the self-appointed Goddess of Twine and Doing Things Slowly.
She used to live in a SwissFamilyRobinson sort of house in Auroville. After the tsunami hit the fishing communities near by she told the woman who helped out in the house to come to her if she needed anything. Late that evening there was a knock at her door. She opened it to find the woman standing there- with the Panchayat president from her community, and six hundred other people who hadn't had dinner and could she please help? Please.
So Snigdha did. Because she's just that sort of person.

here are some of her words...


the day after


the sun did not come out


no one smiled


there seemed nothing in the air


would hold us tight


reassure


the smell of the sea


lingers on the red earth


where it has no place


the day after


feelings of awe are bleeding


tonight as you watch the news


headlines


red bold panic


will scare you but not tell you


that there is a man on the south eastern coast of India


clutching a black umbrella


staring into a once loved ocean


as the night envelops him


he sits back down and waits


for his answers


*****************************************************************


we took the bus


the day after the day after


noisy, chaotic


all elbows and baggage


we got the two last seats but that didnt stop others from streaming on board


two televisons filled our horizon


with brilliant moments from tamil films


the men on the bus laugh loudy


the women stare ahead, tuck their laughter inside


watch the screen with wide-eyed devotion


everyone is entertained as we make our way to Cuddalore


where the air smells of rotting flesh


and the old women sing softly


asking gods and the world at large


why


their grandchildren


are lying on a beach far away


eyes closed peaceful


why


they have been spared


with the burden of life


tangled among blue plastic nets


under bricks and calenders


time means nothing


as the year walks out meekly


we feel small next to a grey sea


that refuses to look guilty


*****************************************************************


i felt like a monster


big and loud


i hadnt spoken but already i had made so much noise


i tried to smile at everyone and felt my teeth


sticking to something inside of me


loudy


i sit on the rumble that was once a house, a road


and make paper butterflies for children who scamper up and down


so shy and hesitating and then such tight clamps on my knees


who dont want me to go and talk all at once


and tell me all about the time they went to madras


big city, many lights


they are all noise and laughter and each little smile


is something i had given up trying to find


pure and simple


asking for nothing


when i speak


the sounds are all distorted falling out of my mouth


how do you ask people how much they have lost


why should anyone tell me


i nod my head alot


as if i could understand what it would be like to have so little


and lose that too so perfectly


the sun so bright off the sea makes me squint


i listen and listen


his story is not interesting he tells me


i was in my boat, on the sea


i didnt see anything


and i didnt hear anything


and i didnt feel anything


and as he speaks his voice grows tighter


and he doesn't see me at all


but talks to blue water, blue sky


something far beyond me


i didnt see anything he says


and when he came back, with fish that no one ate,


there was nothing


nothing at all


the sea had reached in and taken away


all the beautiful things he had placed lovingly beside her


thinking that he knew her


thinking that she would keep them safe


now nothing remains of


the little house with green walls


the wife


the three year old daughter


her tiny hands, the bells on their feet


there is nothing but the smell of salt


and the sunshine dancing on waves


there is nothing for me to do


nothing else for him to say


there was nothing left for me to see


he blinks and leaves

Posted by Pavi at January 18, 2005 08:24 AM
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