Imagine being fully alive, awake and engaged. Imagine utilizing body, mind and spirit in a rapturous three part harmony that sets feet tapping, hearts beating and souls soaring. Walking together from the self to the selfless, this is one pilgrimage to the heart of the infinite. [about the walk]

Thousand Kilometers, One Conclusion

Posted on June 11, 2005 in pilgrim-mumbai.

After a thousand kilometers of observing and serving on this pilgrimage, I've come to one conclusion: I can't help others.

In fact, it doesn't make any sense to help others.

The human heart will unfailingly respond to the ills of the world with compassion, but unfortunately, every solution will be incomplete until that human being has knowledge of the whole.


I'm a technologist. I understand that nuclear energy is a kind of power that solar energy is not; genetic research is curing many lethal diseases that allopathic doctors can't grasp; privatization is an efficient delivery mechanism than working with the politics of masses; robots are removing the mundane, inhumane jobs and assisting physically challenged people; neurological technologies are quite literally giving eyesight without eyes. And I can write essay after essay on why the web is our coolest invention to date.

Yet I'm also human. I can also see that faster and faster communications has created a lot of stress that is corrupting the family fabric. Uncontrolled power of the media has commercialized our education systems and is spitting out ad-mimicking cartoons in place of evolved human beings. Cut-throat competition in our bigger, better, quicker drive has propagated unparalleled greed in our corporations. Satisfaction index of the world, if there were such a thing, hasn't progressed much despite all our material advances.

Take toothbrushes, for example. Surely, any modern dentist will tell you that you should brush your teeth everyday; and if you go to tribal villages of India, they will all think you are confused soul from outer space to pollute the environment from that plastic when you can use a branch from a Neem tree that is known to have medicinal values. If we can have a reasonable argument about something as simple as brushing your teeth, really how evolved are we?

For every single step "forward", any John Doe can easily cite twenty different problems. Einstein once said that you can't solve a problem at the same level of intelligence that created the problem. I think that's the crux of the matter: in our unrelenting search for solution, we have forgotten to evolve our Intelligence.

I want to take Einstein to the nth, though. By induction, you can't come up with any true solution unless you have intelligence of the whole. While we always like to think we have knowledge of the whole, we are typically just passing time before the next bomb explodes. :)

So the real question is -- is it possible to have knowledge of the whole? And because the "whole" is something that can't be fathomed by the intellect (or in quantum terms, it can't be observed without affecting the observed), this becomes a fundamentally spiritual question.

In looking back at my adventures in service to date, I realize one tendency I have always had -- helping others help others. I was never comfortable in helping others; what are you going to help others with? How do you know what is right for them? Yes, it's better to teach a man to fish than to give him fish, but just because someone has fish doesn't mean he's happy. What's the holistic solution? If there is one, how come no Nobel Laureate speaks about it? So, my approach was (and is) to always unconditionally support the awakening of any soul, on any path, towards any destination. Howard Thurman's quote -- do what makes you come alive because what the world needs most are people who have come alive -- has been the dictum of my service journey thus far.

Today, I realize that it's impossible for me to help others unless I have knowledge of the whole. To have knowledge of the whole, you have to expand your awareness to encompass everything. And to encompass everything, you need a heart that has no room for the ego.

Until the heart is free of the ego -- let's face it, this is not an easy thing to do -- what do we do? Serve. For sure. The only caveat is that you serve with the full understanding that this is not to help others but to open your heart wide enough so you can contain information of the whole.

Although I can't confirm this experientially, it is my belief that once you have information of the whole, you are merely an instrument of the universe. You become a channel of action for that higher intelligence to function naturally and whether you are doing the most mundane thing or the most complex development task that seems imperfect, it is for the true collective good.

For those willing to look, there is tons of evidence supporting this hypothesis. Weeks before the revolutionary Dandi Yatra, Rabindranath Tagore asked Gandhi about his future plan, to which Gandhi replied: "I don't know but you can be sure I'm constantly praying." Gandhi called it his inner voice. Mother Teresa, time and time, again said it was "God" leading her. Vinoba Bhave said that it was the universal voice that instructed him: "Go ask for land. Don't be afraid. Go ask for land. That's your work." Martin Luther King, Jr. on many occasions gave inspired talks: "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the Lord." Dalai Lama similarly was at Gandhi's grave when he felt an inspiration inside him to lead a nonviolent movement against China. Vivekananda roamed all of India, and then meditated on the rocks of Kanyakumari where he realized that his work was in the West. And so on.

Is Gandhi's work, or Mother Teresa, or Vinoba's or Dalai Lama's perfect? Far from it. But you see, they would all argue that it was never their work. They were mere instruments of the subtle-yet-real collective intelligence that functions through all of us, that guides us to true progress. It is through the hands of these that humanity progresses.

Before we started our pilgrimage, a group of kids once asked me the purpose of our trip. Rather spontaneously, I told them that my purpose is to move from the ego plan to the divine plan. I have thought up and implemented many ego plans in my short life; I could do that forever and feel really good about it, but something within myself is calling me to evolve to a higher level of intelligence. I'm satiated with this level of awareness and it's time to move on. I don't know if I have the heart to go forward, but I'm certainly ante-ing up my life behind that calling to reach "divine" plan. Whether you call it divine plan, knowledge of the whole, realization, God, Universe, Lord or whatever, the point is that it's not the ego; it's something far bigger than the ego.

My purpose in life, then, is clear: to be an instrument of nature. Until I purify my heart to become that instrument, I will be grateful if I have an opportunity to serve. But it is only after that blossoming of awareness, if what the sages say is true, "I" will truly serve.


Comments ...


   
1.
On Jun 09, 2005 yaniv wrote:

Well written!

just had the *same* thought the other day.

Parmahansa Yogananda said (paraphrased) "If you but tasted a drop of God's Love (let alone the ocean), you would drop everything and forever go mad to drown in it"

In the context 'I'm' woven in, emphasis has been more on allowing this Love to permeate and radiate my being. Service has been more a binding staple to keep out-of-control ego tied down, but real inspiration has come from digging deeper into this Love-Well within ..

.. but then .. when the Love takes over .. like you write, it's not even as if you know *what* outcomes your actions may have, as the intelligence working through that Love is not an analytical break-it-all-down type, rather, what you know for sure is, by allowing yourself to be an instrument, whatever happens in-that-moment is for the best ..

.. and it seems the only real choice we have is whether to play in harmony as an instrument in the cosmic symphony or else create yet more dissonance to be resolved by further movements ... (only) none of us are pure spectators .. ;-)



   
2.
On Jun 09, 2005 Ragunath wrote:

From the time I bid you guys farewell at your house, hours before you left for the airport, I had one question in my mind: If I cannot go with you, then what is my pilgrimage? The need for a pilgrimage has been very clear for a long time. But the outcome has never been. Now you have articulated the outcome you desire, which is to get rid of desire and ego and become a devine instrument.

The question is, what thoughts and actions must flow in between meditations to dissolve the ego?

I have never been able to answer this question because any choice of thought or action comes from judgements and all judgements are based on one's limited capacity to know the good and the bad. If we recognize that whatever we choose comes from partial judgements, then anything we choose is not likely to help dissolve the ego.

My guess is, if we cannot choose the what, we could perhaps choose the how.

Your decision, as I understand, is to see everything you think and do from a, "How can I serve" perspective.

This has inspired me to such a degree that it is impossible to pay back. So I to try to pay it forward by serving others. I am saying, "I try" because I haven't been able to yet serve fully - like the sun, the tree, the river.

To be able to serve fully, I suppose I have to first know who I am: A sun or a tree or a river...

The more I know who I am, the more that knowledge will inform my thoughts and actions.

Since I am made of body, mind and spirit, I need to know myself at all these three levels.

To know my body, mind and spirit, I need to give them something to do so that I can observe what they are made of, their strengths and weaknesses.

So what do I subject myself to that will bring out the best and worst in me? I think it is that which I resonate with, that which I am passionate about. I need to discover that and give myself enough time, space and resources to explore, learn and pursue my passion in order to know my self.

If you are choosing service to others as your passion, if that is what is going to bring the best and worst out of you, then the only question is, How?

You experimented with Wednesday meditation at your home, sending out quote-a-day, growing CharityFocus and now walking open-endedly.

Last night, after meditation at your home, a thought occured to me and I was telling it to someone: there is truth wherever our destiny meets our multiple destinations.

It looks like you have been discovering many truths for the past decade. You have acted upon some and not on many others. Which means, at any given time, you have many truths that can inform your next thoughts and actions. You are a lucky SOB! (Son of Bhagavan).

People struggle a lot to discover just one passion that they can pursue (I know!). By making service as your passion, you have essentially created an abundance for yourself in terms of what to pursue.

So, if you are walking it is the right thing to do. If you are stopping, it is the right thing to do. If you are cleaning temples, profiling true service people, blogging, inspiring thousands of people around the world, creating a net presence for 750K villages in India... all of them are right things to do - as long as they come from truth and resonance.

Please do help yourself to help others.

For many of us it means you two should eat well whenever you can, sleep well, massage your legs and arms and keep your bravado in check (not challenging the sun, for instance).

We want you two back in one piece. Peace.

Thanks for providing me the opportunity to ramble here, right now it sounds like music to me.



   
3.
On Jun 09, 2005 dennis wrote:

about knowing the whole

being in union in mind is wholeness of mind -
this already exists for us - desire for
unity, for joining, brings it into being for us.

how often do we think of ourselves as a we ?

union in heart is wholeness - it is not i who
purifies my heart - it is just acceptance of
the unchanged state of innocence that has
been there for us.

i no longer believe ego is a thing to be
contended with - it is only a thought - i notice
it is a thought somewhere within me that when
i decide its "only me" then it has no
significance to the real we.


we are inspired about your discoveries - you are
learning for us what we all want to know.
Let's keep moving as one !



   
4.
On Jun 10, 2005 Chris Corrigan wrote:

Einstein also said that given one hour to solve the world's problems, he would spend the first 55 minutes looking for the right question.

Give yourself some time...you've only walked 1000kms in a few months!

:-)



   
5.
On Jun 10, 2005 Seema Ghelani wrote:

Thank you for sharing this conclusion as part of your spiritual journey as it is comforting to read that what is stirring inside you is also stirring inside me and many others....a part of a collective progression towards awareness and consciousness.

Comforted in your clarity,
Seema



   
6.
On Jun 11, 2005 Dhosthi wrote:

Wow, Nipun, we've come full circle! Very nice bloggin', Dude!

Don't forget, if you get the need for real silence, turn right at Manmad and head to Nagarville. The Pilgrim Center opens on the 15th and has been an excellant rest-stop for a very, very long time.

Peace to you and yours,
george & lily



   
7.
On Jun 14, 2005 Sean wrote:

Nipun - Thank you for sharing that beautiful insight. Spreading this wisdom is perhaps the greatest service you can do.

Namaste,
- Sean



   
8.
On Jun 18, 2005 Krupa Patel wrote:

After coming back from China and Taiwan and observing the growing technology and capitalism there, I was trying to understand my heart and then I go to your blog and what was once unclear was to be expressed with perfect harmony by your words...
Thanks,
Krupa



   
9.
On Jun 19, 2005 Bhupen Mehta wrote:

Nipun and Guri:

I met your mom and Viral yesterday at the local grocery store and we talked about your pad yatra. It reminded me of many Jain sadhus and sadhvis who walk like you did. Jain sadhus do it as part of the Jain priesthood requirement.One of the requirements of this tradition is that they stop walking during the four months of monsoon. I am urging you both to just do that for many reasons--build your spritual energy, contemplate over what you have learned, take care of your health, etc.The Jains do their Paryushan during this period also.

I hope both of you observe some part of this Jain tradition. I will miss you during the Jaina convnetion. You are getting close to "I am that" discovery. I am always inspired by your journey. We are experimenting to bring this spirit to the young Jains with Virla's and CF help on July 2 at the convention.



   
10.
On Jun 29, 2005 Sanjay M wrote:

Richard Bach writes this in his book Illusions:

“If a man told God that he wanted most of all to help the suffering world, no matter the price to himself, and God answered and told him what he must do, should the man do as he is told?"

Excerpt: In a Time not so Long Ago

...that the best way for a person to serve this world is to be happy, truly happy, himself.

I see this in your blog Nipun, and I share your happiness by reading it ...I second Sean's thoughts :-)



   
11.
On Jul 05, 2005 Manoj Jain wrote:

Dear Nipun,

Aap apne soul ke vacuum ko ishi tarah se preserve karke rakho. Kyoki ishwar kahan or kis rup mein aapko dikhe. Kisi ko pata nahin hain.

Bhagwan aapko himmat or sahas de.

Manoj



   
12.
On Jul 26, 2005 dennis wrote:

Helping others can be a paradox - here is a
pathway i have found after years of struggle with this:

pretend as if you ARE that person - then do what would be helpful to this new self - this way you
can join in the unity of mutual helpfullness !



   
13.
On Nov 02, 2005 Suman wrote:

Nipun,
I always believed in one thing, we can never understand what other person needs or wants. One thing we can all do though, is, to be there for that person whoever is in need. I hate to use the word HELP, I use the word, ASSISST. The word Help carries "EGO" in it. The word ASSISST has humbleness attached to it. As an assisstant you are actually being useful for someone in their pursuit whatever it may be, it might be fishing, brushing or cleaning...or whatever.
The moment you assisst you are actually becoming an instrument of the eternal Universal spirit, you are a subset of the higher spirit.

with best wishes,
Suman



   
14.
On Apr 05, 2006 rajima wrote:

dear nipun & guri
u r a joy to read.
all u need is a living Guru. u cld have reached here with greater ease! and 'know' who u r sooner so that u can "tell' others in the very 'telling' way u have!
blessings dear ones
love
victory to the Big Mind,
rajima



   
15.
On Jan 19, 2007 Anshul wrote:

As you said in one of your blogs, nothing in coincidence, I was thinking about "what is the real aim of my life", just a minute before I stepped onto your blog that you so beautifully concluded "My purpose in life, then, is clear: to be an instrument of nature"!!!

Your blogs are very inspiring; make me wonder what am I doing with my life!



   
16.
On Mar 03, 2008 supun wrote:

I'm wondering if it's possible to not be intelligent and still move if not towards the same goal but towards something else.

Is it possible to not be pure or even not want to be pure and still gain clarity?

I love having ideas like this to throw into my mind's blender and come out even more beautifully convoluted :-)

I've never seen that it's impossible to help others. I know lots of people that serve others-- even go beyond and serve all pretty equally. They do it for a concept which they usually call Love. I've never understood that. I try to be helpful. It makes me feel powerful. It makes me feel alive and capable. I know that I'm not "here" for "any reason". I get to make my own existence. I don't have a lot of freedom in the choices I made. But I have a few I can make right now. After that, I'll surely die. I try to be helpful becasue I fear being alone and I like when other people think of me. I like having a subltle way to express to others "hey, world look at me, I'm a live!" There's other ways to do it, but none is more fun that through an unconditional act of helpfulness that generates no sense of obligation or expectation at a less than "miraculous" scale.

I cannot conceptualize what the hell an Ego is. I always thought Frued and the school of mental analysis that was forumulated during Victorian times was "crap-pot". I do have an understanding about the concept of pride and self-pride and how sometimes where we lead ourselves into false pride (do you remember the childhood story of the mystical teacher by the sea side that promised to visit a student but came dressed up as a bumm to teach everyone else about false pride?) I see good in having pride and gaining some sort of karmic credit or respect among my peers. There is a crazy balance to be learned in that that can only be experientially experimented with.

I'm afraid of anything devine or too abstract. I've never met any human intention that is pure. How can Nipun want to Love Purely while I can't fathom what that means?

That misunderstanding is a very interesting conversation to me. I can learn to live simply, and I'm pretty sure I have been able to give fearlessly. But Loving Purely almost seems to work against the other 2 gems in the Nipun's triple gem :-). I won't even try to unify or rectify that, I guess.

I don't even like the idea of a universe. If there was only one natural verse that explains everything, I think would not enjoy every rebirth I've had in my life.

I love the very tactful words used in this article. It articulates a big chunk of experience that I have missed in my life. It contains a lot I can live through vicariously. I have gained so much in the work of someone else. And I think at some level helped someone feel good after writing this.



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