Status of Blogging :)
While I take my time to mid-wife the birth of the gratitude blog, :) just a quick note to let you know that I've been writing on the CharityFocus blog (like this Tigers Update) and kindness stories on the HelpOthers.org site (like this $62.82 story).
Oh, and Guri's got a new photo blog ... where she hopes to post a new photo everyday.
by Nipun Mehta on Jan 7 '07 | add comment | permalink | more 'misc'
Birth of Gratitude Blog
Jean sent me an eCard with a sentence I had once written to her:
So many times each day, I am in a state of extreme gratitude. Oddly enough, most of the time it has nothing to do with circumstances of the day; sometimes I'll just be sitting there in silence and there'll be a surge of energy coupled with incredible gratefulness. Although my mind tends to attach that gratitude to something or another that's immediately relevant in my life, my hunch is that it's a natural spring that sprouts without a rhyme or a reason.
A while back, I had a thought of writing a note to gratitude every night before I sleep … to honor the deep connections that I cherish.
In our networked, information-heavy world, we are suffocated with lots of superficial connections – MySpace or LinkedIn, or it's an email from your co-worker's neighbor whom you met once or an interesting blogger that your sister has been reading for a year or an artist whose photos are up on Flickr. Yes, your addressbook has a thousand email addresses but really, how many of those people would wake up at 1AM to help you out?
And it's not just people. Our connection to ideas is also superficial. We will watch 'Inconvenient Truth' and talk about sustainability but we'll still use plastic, not change the light bulbs in our house, and secretly admire SUV's. We will donate to a homeless shelter or sponsor a well in a developing country, but we will ignore a homeless man on the street and indulge in long showers everyday. We will read spiritual books and quote scriptures, but we can't get along with those closest to us and we never practice being still.
Such paradoxes are a reality, for all of us, not because we don't believe in things but because we're confused about what to believe in. Hedging, weighing in the opportunity cost, cashing in for the quick fix, we sink in the quicksand of information, mis-information, dis-information.
And that's where gratitude comes in for me. Gratitude creates that stillness that allows truth to arise, clears out the lens through which I look at the world, and gives me that extra umph needed to make my life my message.
All to say, that from this point, I hope to write entries of gratitude on this blog.
by Nipun Mehta on Aug 9 '06 | add comment | permalink | more 'thoughts'
Article in San Francisco Chronicle
As I shuttle from a meditation retreat to a "evolutionary role of philanthropy" conference in Colorado to a youth conference in NY, life feels serenely eventful. :)
Today, SF Chronicle did an interview with Guri and I. Unlike the usual media stories, this one feels quite real.
by Nipun Mehta on Jun 26 '06 | add comment | permalink | more 'events'
Chocolate Insanity
A "sweet" story from HelpOthers.org:
It was a routine trip. We, my wife and I, are walking back home from the grocery store when we spontaneously decide to walk into a coffee shop. As my wife orders a small cup of coffee at the counter, I huddle our grocery bags under our table and get ready to share some hot coffee on this unusually cold day.
Just then, my eyes catch glimpse of a young woman in her thirties escorting a rather frail Mexican woman into the shop. Maybe it was the gentleness of their encounter or a vague familiarity with the circumstances, but something about them grabs my full attention. I immediately feel an impulse to do something for them. Anything. Unfortunately, before I can gather my wits, they leave the coffee shop without ordering anything!
When my wife returns, I tell her of my silent encounter. "But I missed the chance to do something for them," I say with the angst of a window shopper reading a "closed" sign on the front door.
[ read more ... ]by Nipun Mehta on Jun 16 '06 | add comment | permalink | more 'stories'
Burning Questions
I was invited to spend a week to 30 interesting folks to discuss the "role of philanthropy". Everyone is asked to submit a bunch of
"burning questions" and I penned down a few that have created some good conversations:
- Is philanthropy creating more problems than it's solving? To "help" is to see life as weak, to "fix" is to life as broken, but what happens when we see life as a whole? Is it possible to serve without pre-conceived solutions in our head?
- What are the design flaws in man-made institutions that encourage fear, competition, and scarcity? Upton Sinclair once said, "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it." How do we address the design flaw so deep into the game?
- Who has done more good for the world: Mother Teresa or Bill Gates? After much analysis, Forbes magazine concluded it was Bill Gates. How exactly do we measure the "good"? Can we count what really counts?
- How do we shift from a transaction oriented society to a flow-based society? If 15 still frames can create an animation, how many transactions does it take for real life to flow? Divorcing technology isn't an option anymore; how can we steer it towards flow?
- In our current "attention" economy, eyeball time is money -- seconds of SuperBowl time, click-thrus on Google, placement in Time. But can we go a step further and create an Intention Economy? Instead of marketers constantly interupting consumers to sell unwanted products, can we create a consumer-driven, demand-pull system based on communities of intention?
- How does the online world relate to the the offline world? Are they diametrically opposed and can they be weaved together for positive social transformation?
by Nipun Mehta on Jun 16 '06 | add comment | permalink | more 'thoughts'
Tigers Updates
Every month that I'm running CharityFocus, I write an internal newsletter called 'Tigers Update'.
From the April Tigers Update:
Guri and I were to invited to a conference recently. It was quite fancy with many world-class speakers; at lunch, a gentleman on a wheelchair asks me, "You are a speaker? But you are so young. What are your credentials?" I don't have a graduate degree, no major awards, no high rollin' bank accounts, no books that are displayed in conference hallways. Yes, I did start an organization but you know, its annual budget is $7000 after seven years of operation! So that's exactly how I opened my talk -- "I'm just an ordinary guy, I have no original content, no letters postfixed to my name, no fancy accolades, nothing. But I stand here in front of you to dialogue with your presence."
The talk rocked for exactly the same reason that CharityFocus rocks -- we have no agenda.
And from the latest May Tigers Update:
Last month, the CEO of Google.org ($1.2 billion fund) replies to the weekly thought and asks for a paragraph describing CharityFocus. I opened with, "Three pillars of our guiding principles are: (a) we are all volunteers, (b) we don't fundraise, (c) we believe in doing small things." He tells me later on that he needed to explain CharityFocus to the Google.org Board! Why? "Just because," he says with a wry smile. :)
Just because. That could be the new CharityFocus slogan. No ifs, ands, buts, whys. Just because.
by Nipun Mehta on Jun 16 '06 | add comment | permalink | more 'letters'
The Google Story
Jayeshbhai recently gave me 'The Google Story' book; although the Google Guys are in the commerical context, they are trying to "change the world". Below are some intriguing factoids about Google.
[ read more ... ]by Nipun Mehta on Jun 16 '06 | add comment | permalink | more 'books'
Sunflower and a Frog
He took it out from around his neck and leaned down a bit, his eyes looking straight into mine. "Would you mind?" he asks. Looking at him through his eye glasses, I smile and say, "Of course not, Lee. It would be an honor." And with that, I was garlanded -- probably for the first time in my life -- with a simple necklace.
Lee is the epitome of a happy-go-lucky guy. He used to be a trucker, I think. If there were one word to describe him, it would be happy. Or joyous. And what a pure heart. In one of those fits of unadulterated compassion, he just felt like giving me something. So he takes off his own necklace and offers it to me.
[ read more ... ]by Nipun Mehta on Jun 16 '06 | add comment | permalink | more 'stories'
Organic Organizational Growth
[One of the organizations I volunteer for was recently looking for leadership. Lot of people felt that the organization needed to spend more money to grow more, attract more talent, and work wonders in the world. I felt a little differently and wrote the following note about growth.]
Growth has to be natural. You can't look to an apple tree and say, "Here's an extra bag of fertilizer and I'm expecting 1000 new apples this season." When we project our mental impressions onto our organizations, we interfere with natural conditions and "externalize" the costs to someone else in the world. In recent years, we've seen this problem climax in the corporate world. But this isn't just about global warming or recycling: it's also about the subtler costs of anger, greed, jealousy, mistrust, insecurity, and dissatisfaction in our very own hearts.
The skillful approach, I believe, is to focus not merely on the tangible outcomes but on the process of cultivating the soil and watering the plants and patiently finding joy in the small things. No matter how many professional doctors you hire, a mother will take nine months to deliver her child. You can't rush it. Similarly, you can't determine your growth rate by how much you pay the ED, how many people are on your development staff, or how many unrestricted checks you get. If we don't have active board participation, or if we have high staff turnover, or if all of us aren't fully aligned with common values, we will struggle. And that's OK -- what the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. We have to be careful about the pain-killer effect of transient resources (like money) which often desensitize us to the pain we ought to feel.
The strength of an organization lies in the commitment of its constituents to its guiding principles and vision. If we are to have any growth, it has to be in proportion to -- and in line with -- that organizational strength.
[ read more ... ]by Nipun Mehta on Jun 16 '06 | add comment | permalink | more 'thoughts'
Miles of Smiles
"Right on. This is my kind of protest," he says while going past me. I hadn't thought of it way before. But perhaps it is a protest for lack of smiles in the world.
About 15 of us gathered earlier today to create poster boards that we would proudly hold up on busy street intersections of San Francisco. The posters would say simple things like "smile" or "smile anyways" or "spare a smile?" or "smile, it's free". We weren't doing this as a part of any organization but rather as friends and well-meaning citizens of the world.
After our morning creative sessions, we split up into teams of four and spread over various intersections on San Francisco's Van Ness Road. My team was at the Lombard intersection, one of the busiest.
For the first couple minutes, there's always that awkward question mark on your face -- "I am making a fool of myself?" But then, you realize that this is not about you. It's about delivering an unexpected smile on someone's face and the best way to do that is with a big fat smile on your own face. So, you look to your other friends at the four intersections, light up your face, yell "smile" at the car stopped at the intersection.
[ read more ... ]by Nipun Mehta on Jun 16 '06 | add comment | permalink | more 'events'
Cause of Poverty: Greed or Ignorance?
One of my friends recently asked me:
What do you think is more responsible for poverty, greed or ignorance? And no cheating and saying greed is a form of ignorance. :)
If the question is, what causes poverty, we first have to start by defining what poverty actually is. Broadly speaking, there's material poverty, emotional poverty, and spiritual poverty.
[ read more ... ]by Nipun Mehta on Jun 16 '06 | add comment | permalink | more 'thoughts'
Wear Smiles!
In the middle of lunch, we get a phone call. "Sir, I've got a special package for you." "Special package? Um, ok, I'll come down to get it."
"This is for you," the slim, twenty-something guy says with a mischevious smile. "Who is it from?" "It's from an anonymous friend." Actually, in all my excitement I couldn't tell if he said "friend" or "friends" but it didn't matter. With radiant joy for having kind friends, I took a peek inside the box. "Thank you." The kid rushes off as if his 007 mission is accomplished.
Inside the box -- guess what? T-shirts. Lots of them, I think about 25-30 of them. Each t-shirt had the same kind of "smile" written on it, the way each smile card has, and a happy face.
It was awesome. So awesome that my mind started racing about who could've pulled off the incredible tag.
With a big brown box in hand, I waited for the elevator to come down.
[ read more ... ]by Nipun Mehta on Jun 16 '06 | add comment | permalink | more 'stories'
Will I Blog Again?
Yes, I will blog again. And so will Guri.
When you stay on the edge of your insecurity for a while, life's interconnectedness becomes apparent in mysterious ways. During our walk, many of you wrote wonderful emails of support, questions and comments; but in truth, they were all blessings uniting our sacred journeys in subtle ways. To honor that connection, I will post again on this blog only after responding to each of those emails personally.
In the interim, last year's blog entries are now also listed chronologically. To get an email update when this blog is updated, enter your email address below:
Oh, and I'm also printing a very crude :) hard-copy of all our blog entries and iJourney profiles. If you'd like a copy, drop me a note with your shipping address.
by Nipun Mehta on Feb 17 '06 | add comment | permalink | more 'pilgrim-post'
Back to the Bayarea
Guri and I will be back in the Bay-Area on Dec 21st.
Thank you for a phenomenal year. We couldn't have done it
without your blessings and good wishes.
by Nipun Mehta on Dec 20 '05 | add comment | permalink | more 'pilgrim-post'
A Full Moon View
"Hello, CK?" "Speaking. Where are you guys? I've been waiting. All your arrangements are made." "CK, we have a slight change of plans." "What's that?" "We're gonna sleep out on the streets tonight."
A stunned silence.
"Hello, CK?" "Yes," he replies as if he's never heard anything this crazy. He had preponed his flight from Thailand to make it in time to receive us, but now this. "What do you mean?" he asks.
"Well, these guys are saying that they want to know what it feels like to be cold on the streets, before they start putting blankets on cold shoulders. They really want to sleep out there," I explain.
"In this weather? You'll freeze," CK exclaims before sharing the 7 degree Celsius forecast. "And what about the mosquitoes? Come on, don't be silly. Just come directly here. I have made full arrangements. You won't have to worry about a thing." After a few minutes of five-star hospitality reviews and a few more are-you-sure phone calls, CK has no choice but to accept our plans.
Eight of us are on the road. It's the compassion gang, taking off on a trip to reload their ammunition -- blankets for the shivering, clothes for the naked, toys for the young ones, shoes for the bare-footed, you name it. A truck load full of things, to give to people anonymously.
Being the eldest of the gang, I am responsible for making mature decisions. Well, well. :)
[ read more ... ]by Nipun Mehta on Dec 20 '05 | add comment | permalink | more 'pilgrim-post'
Secret Service: A Compassion Gang
"Nipunbhai, can we meet tomorrow? We've got lots of stories to tell you," the sixteen year old voice on the phone tells me. "Yes, of course. Come by at 8AM tomorrow morning," I reply.
It's a call from the compassion gang, an experiment inspired by Viral and Pavi's marriage. It's a simple scheme to create brandless tornadoes of love -- our "secret service" agents walk around the city and befriend those in need; when they find a genuine case of need, they inform another teammate to anonymously drop off an in-kind gift; and a week or so later, a third teammate would visit the same person and ask him about his experiences with kindness to reiterate the value of goodness. Each story is then written and retold by compassion agents to someone else they don't know.
Sure enough, at 8AM the next morning, four youngsters are seated around a coffee table. After a couple minutes of meditation, we start sharing stories.
RG, the sixteen year old, starts first. "Standing on the streets, I overheard two fifty-something men talking. One of them was a buttermilk seller and he was saying how there is no business in the winter months for buttermilk. Both of them were really poor and one of them says, 'I hope God keeps me warm this winter.' I immediately ran to find two blankets from our stock; when I came back, I handed it to them ... and you should've seen the look on their faces! They said they saw God work through my hands." It's obvious that RG is himself deeply moved.
Incidentally, RG's brother later remarked: "You should see these guys. All they see now-a-days are service opportunities. Everywhere they go, they're sharing stories of kindness and looking for a chance to make someone's day."
The young "secret service" agents had religiously written down each of their compelling stories in a red, spiral notebook. "The stories are getting more and more compelling," VJ says as the coordinator of this four-some group.
[ read more ... ]by Nipun Mehta on Dec 13 '05 | add comment | permalink | more 'pilgrim-post'
An Encounter with Sri Lanka's Gandhi
A large, SUV-like car rolls in and half a dozen people get out. As a part of the host committee, I need to spot Dr. Ariyaratne among the guests. Having never seen a picture of him, I wasn't sure how I'd spot such a celebrated personality but I anticipated a garland around his neck or strikingly unique clothes or a "Gandhi of Sri Lanka" halo or something. But nothing. I simply can't tell.
By any analysis, A. T. Ariyaratne is a living legend on this planet:
In the spirit of Martin Luther King, he has led peace marches and meditations with millions of poor people. In the mold of Mahatma Gandhi, he has quieted angry masses through his personal example. Like Jimmy Carter, he has successfully mediated intense conflicts and helped build hundreds of homes. Like the Dalai Lama and the world’s greatest preachers, he has an impressive ability to rally ordinary citizens to see the spiritual wisdom of looking beyond their own salvation to help ensure the salvation of others.
Such larger-than-life personalities, I figure, are easy to spot. But then I remember asking a friend about her impression of the Dalai Lama, after having spent half an hour with him. With a profound look on her face, Jean had responded, "He is so ordinary. Extra ordinary, in fact."
And so it is with Dr. Ariyaratne -- the most ordinary of the lot, a short man with a slight hunch back to match his humility, a simple white-shirt overhanging on his darker pants, and a pair of sandals on his old feet. The motto of his Sarvodaya movement is a prefect fit for his personna: "We build the road and the road builds us."
[ read more ... ]by Nipun Mehta on Dec 8 '05 | add comment | permalink | more 'pilgrim-post'
One Rupee Ethics
It's a common phenomena in India. You hop in a three-wheeler rickshaw, to get from one doorstep to another. And the rickshaw charges you an extra rupee or two, or more.
Now, incomes of city-goers (in all strata of society) are usually far lower than their perceived needs, and enveloped in this sphere of insecurity and fear, people are always enterprising new ways to make more money ... even if those new methods of getting that extra cash involve some corruption, some lying, some stealing. "Everyone does it and so why not me? Otherwise, me and mine will just get left behind in this man-eat-man world," people rationalize to themselves.
And rickshaw drivers are no exception. Unfortunately for them, their ethical breakdown is very visible and prominent in the public eye. It's not always easy to like them and that, for me, is always a challenge I'm up for.
The other day, Guri and I went on a routine rickshaw ride. The driver says, "10 rupees." I know it should've been eight so I tell the guy, "Are you sure?" He rudely retorts, "Yeah, ten." I ask him again, "Is it really 10?" With a impatient anger, he says, "Didn't I already tell you?"
I hand over a ten. I peer through the front of the rickshaw, look inside and whispher to him, "You know, I don't want those extra 2 rupees you're after. But I don't think you want it either." He's a bit taken back, so I continue: "You cheat me today and your left pocket has two extra rupees. Tomorrow, someone else will cheat your own right pocket and it'll all be even in God's mathematics. This is not about me versus you. It is about you versus you. You choose the games you want to play." Having suffered through my own gross forms of greed and insecurity, there is a strong sense of confidence in my voice and a geniune wish for the rickshaw driver's well being.
The driver starts his rickshaw, as I smile and turn around to catch up with Guri (who is all too familiar with my ongoing antics :)). He sincerely heard me, so I am content with our interaction.
Just then, he calls out to me, "Sir!" I glance back. His hand goes into the top right pocket of his shirt and manifests a coin. Like a child eager to show off his report card, he holds up the coin and says, "Sir, this is only change I have."
He hands me a one rupee coin, avoids eye contact and rides away.
by Nipun Mehta on Dec 8 '05 | add comment | permalink | more 'pilgrim-post'
Your Son Has No Fear
[ A true story. ]
A child is sent home with a note for his father. The father opens it up and reads, "Your son has no fear. Please see me."
Unsure whether it's a compliment or a complaint, the father inquires further. His son tells him, "I sat on a seat that was marked for the teacher. I told the bus driver that I would relinquish the seat when the teacher came, but he didn't listen. And neither did I."
The father goes to see the principal and sure enough, the principal reiterates his complaint, "Your son has no fear. That's his biggest problem."
Perhaps someday we will rule by love, instead of fear.
by Nipun Mehta on Dec 6 '05 | add comment | permalink | more 'pilgrim-post'
Lessons From Indian Traffic
One of my Uncle's American friends once said, "I used to be an athiest. But after having survived Indian streets, I now believe that there must be God!" :)
Indian traffic is, well, Indian traffic. Every intersection has the potential of finding movement in all four directions -- the three wheelers push around the pedestrians and bicyclists, the cars shove their big frames fearlessly through any road block and the scooter and Kinetics use fake truck-horns to get some respect. While busy street corners boast white and beige uniformed traffic police, they are either busy collecting bribes or left wondering when their whistles will be replaced with loud horns so people can actually hear their pleas for order. The rest of India's intersections are left to the mercy of the almighty AutoPilot.
One would imagine that chaos would render the roads useless. But no. Traffic actually flows through, rather efficiently.
In place of long, mechanical lines of robotic machinery, Indian traffic feels more like an art gallery. Every intersection at every signal is a unique formation. Consider what happens when a signal turns red. Loads of cars and trucks and buses attack the front of the line from all kinds of irregular angles; in between them, the rickshaw driver sweeps left and right turns to cut ahead by two feet or sometimes four inches, the bicycle driver boldly squeezes into the gaps in between the three wheelers, and, of course, the enterprising vendor on foot will shuttle his q-tips and Maps of India and other random items from one car window to another.
[ read more ... ]by Nipun Mehta on Dec 6 '05 | add comment | permalink | more 'pilgrim-post'